Whats really important and the way to help and support anyone going through a health or personal crisis is to do what you can. Don’t ask for what they need, just do what you can or Offer then leave it up to them to accept.Babz
Hello everyone and thanks for joinging todays episode where I am going to take you behind the scenes a little bit and talk about how to help or support someone going through a health crisis.
First am going to talk about some of the things you should not do. so Lets just get that out of the way right now.
Don’t say sorry. I hear this all the time/ This isn’t a pity party. No one wants to hear the word sorry. Instead offer a word of hope and encouragement. Saying sorry feels like being patronized
Also a lot of people say this – let me know how I can help or if you need anything. Well while that is the typical thing to say – this is unfortunately the wrong approach. Most people will not call or ask for help.
So how do you navigate through this – the solution is to just do or give. Offer to babysit the kids, give financial help – if you can afford to. bring a meal for the family. How about paying for a cleaning service. There are lots of different things you can do to help by taking into account what the person may be in need of.
Another don’t is sending medical advice or cures – especially those that are unproven, false or misleading. Believe it or not. It increases anxiety and confusion in the midst of trying to think clearly and especially when the news is still fresh. SO please do some research and don’t just forward a chain message from whatapp, a text message or a FB post that contains false information. I get these mssgs all the time – and while the intention may be good – it does create a sense of anxiety especially when the information is misleading.
…and I understand support and help do come in different forms. One of the best ways that friends and family have supported me is simply by doing. again dont ask
A close family member after hearing about the news of my diagnosis Called me and said he said hey i booked my flight and coming to see you next week. Now, if he had called and asked me when was a good time to visit – I probably would have asked him to wait. The difference here is that I did not have to think or try to figure out a time for his visit. This was the last thing I wanted to do at the time. Also this puts the pressure off of me. i truly appreciated his approach….Besides he was determined to come see me so saying no or waiting probably woulnd’t have worked.
Also food is always welcome. everyone has to eat. so this is something you can’t really go wrong with – just be mindful of the person diet or preferences.
How about total strangers whom after hearing my story from others, found my home address and sent cards with words of encouragement. Some even sent checks and money. All without asking – they simply did it. These kind acts were especially touching becuase it was completely unexpected.
And if you are religious, whatever your faith or belief system – simply praying is another way to help. Knowing someone is wishing you well, provides comfort and reassurance even in the gravest situation.
Whats really important and the way to help and support anyone going through a health or personal crisis is to do what you can. Again dont ask for what they need, just do what you can or Offer then leave it up to them to accept so you aren’t too imposing.
Other ways to help and support is to simply be there – Be there to listen and to be a source of encourgement. More importantly – don’t just disappear. Be present and available for the person affected.
Through my journey, one interesting observation and what I’ve learned is that some family and friends are hesitant to call or send a mssg – mostly becos they aren’t sure of what to say or out of concern especially not knowing how the person may be feeling or what may be going on.
While this is a considerate gesture – part of the support and help is to reach out. Your phone call or text message just might be that dose of hope or inspiration the person needs at that moment – you never really know. Remember this isn’t about you, its about them so if you can put your assumptions aside and do what you can.
just a word of caution that – talking all the time about their illness or condition shouldn’t always be the subject of your conversation – try talking about other things unrelated – remember this is something that the person lives with 24/7, so talking about it all the time isn’t always plesant.
its best to wait for that individual to bring it up or mention it – then you can chime in or offer some words of comfort.
There you have – thats how you can help.
on the next episode – we’ll explore one of the most widespread myth out there – that cancer grows when you eat sugar. A fascinating topic so do check it out
Thanks for listening and until next time – Live out Loud.