Often times we lose friends and loved ones only to find out they didn’t have a will or have a succession plan in place for their business. one of the first things I did following my diagnosis was to get a will.Babz
Hello everyone – thanks again for joining. Today am gonna be talking about how you deal with bad or devastating new about your health or perhaps other areas of your life.
At 41 years old and at the height of my career and personal life – I was finally pursuing a life long dream to move my family to spain, learn to speak spanish, open a new business venture and spend more time travelling around europe.
THis was an exciting and one of the best times of my life – then I got the devastating diagnosis that I had cancer.
I basically went from a high to an absolute low in a blink of an eye.
For anyone whose been through devastating news either losing a loved one or learning about a grave health diagnosis – there isn’t a good way to prepare for such news. Ones intial feeling will be one of disbelief, shock – then comes the fear, anger, sadness. I sat in my doctors office and when I heard those the C word and I just zoned out. it felt like I was dreaming at that moment…it was unreal
One of the most important things to keep in mind is to allow yourself to feel those emotions – don’t surpress it. Its ok to be fearful and to be angry.
I went through these emotions earlier on and yes I still have them even today – the big difference is that I am able to better handle it. Time heals and that is true in this case as well
Also Having a family member or a close friend with you is essential. For a couple of reasons
First to offer you support but also to ask questions and act as your advocate especially if you are meeting with a doctor. No matter how mentally strong you are – receiving bad new is going to be difficult. While it is important bring a family or close friend – it can’t just be anyone. You probably shouldn’t bring that friend that sees the glass half empty.
In my case, I had my sister with me bcos I knew she would be strong for both of us in that moment and afterwards.
So in the aftermath of getting bad news – again it is important to take some time to compose yourself, go through the emotional rollercoaster but do surround yourself with trusted friends and family
Once you have the mental capacity and have come to grips with the news – go back to your doctor, to ask additional questions and makre you fully understand the diagnosis and also your prognosis. Do some additional research and talk to other, perhaps join some online or local groups – but a word of caution about that and you probably know this
there are lots of bad information on the internet. Go with information from trusted sources and not just youtube, facebook or some random website.
And just a quick comment Regarding prognosis given my doctors – I have a problem with how some doctors deliver grave prognosis. While its important to have trust in your doctor – I think we forget that doctors are also human and not fortune tellers. Their prognosis – is often based on experience, your current health condition and also general statistics. No matter what the prognosis is – remember that your situation is unique and your journey will likely be different.
so something to keep in mind
SOmething else I highly recomemnd is to get your affairs in order.
Often times we lose friends and loved ones only to find out they didnt have a will or have a succession plan in plce for their business. Oone of the first things I did following my diagnosis was to get a will. WHile it was an emotional exercise to meet up with a lawyer to write up my will – am happy that I have the opportunity to do it. In was something I’d long put off, but the diagnsis forced me to finally get it done.
now This advise isn’t just for people going through a health or personal crisis. Everyone needs to have a will and a succession plan in place. I think Its the prudent thing to do to protect your loved ones and its just the smart living.
If there is anything you get out of this episode is not to wait to get your affairs in order. Don’t wait until you experience a life crisis to do it…trust me it a lot easier to do it before.
Lastly, while it is hard to do and convienient to say – you have to stay positive. Its easy to fall into dispair and depression so you need to make the extra effort to stay positive. Again, having a support system such as friends and family who will encourge and give you hope is really really important.
So how do you deal with bad news….well you hope for the best but also prepare for the worst. I know its sounds cliche but Facing the reality of the situation goes a long way and helps a great deal.
Check out the upcoming episode, where we’ll dive into how to help or support someone going through a health crisis – It’s going a bit of an eye opener as I take you behind the scenes.
Thanks for listening and until next time – Live out loud.